


Starting Over

by AnxiousUnicorn



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: 5 Years Later, F/M, Heavy Angst, I am tired of thinking what happens next, It was a slow burn before but now this is just torturous, Link and Zelda are my OTP, Politics, Post-Canon, i am sorry I am an evil writer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousUnicorn/pseuds/AnxiousUnicorn
Summary: Five years post-canon where Hyrule is mostly repaired and Zelda is dealing with major political blowback, especially because she has no King at her side. This fic assumes Link and Zelda never got together at the end of BOTW because Link still didn't have shit together and he decides to be a little whiney baby about it.





	1. Change

“Your Highness, I just want to thank you in advance for allowing this interview. I know you are a very busy sovereign, in the middle of managing a basically brand-new kingdom. Let me start off with this: how does it feel to have accomplished so much in so little time?”

I was sitting in my newly renovated study across from Arden, a reporter for the Castle Town newspaper. He was interviewing me for yet another article. Since the newspaper’s founding three years ago, I had done countless in an effort to seem more personable to my people, who seemed unsure of having a sovereign they had done just fine without for a century. I had come to know Arden well, and I felt that he and I had the same goal in mind in publishing these articles: giving strength back to a monarchy that had deteriorated substantially.

“Arden, I believe that many of what you label as my accomplishments should really be labeled as everyone’s accomplishments. The Crown has certainly helped in organizing, financing, and promoting all of the repairs to our social and physical infrastructures, but much of the hard work is done by people all over the country – Hylian and otherwise. We are stronger together, and that is proved by the amazing work we've done over these past few years. We still have a long ways to go, but I have no doubt we can get to where we want to be.”

Arden smiled at me, proud of my answer. He would never write anything in his article that he believed would harm the Royal family’s (rather, my) image, but he knew that what he wrote had to come from my mouth if it were to convince the Hylian people of my legitimacy.

Ironically, the Hylian people were the ones who needed the most convincing. The other races, the Rito, Gerudo, Zora, and Gorons, had no problem with my place as sovereign. This was partly due to the Zora’s long lifespan, and partly due to another person entirely – Link. Both before and after the Calamity struck, Link had made friends with people all over the world and in all races. He was trustworthy, extremely obliging to many requests, and had impeccable strength with the sword (which helped him handle many of those requests). As a result, the other races took Link at his word and believed him wholeheartedly when he said I was the true heir to the Hylian throne.

Arden continued to ask me about various topics relating to the rebuilding progress for the next half hour. The questions weren't hard to answer by any means, but I was glad when he left. He was a kind man, and I believed us to be friends, but over the past few weeks I had become increasingly bitter, lonely, and morose, mostly due to thoughts of a blonde, blue-eyed Hylian plaguing my mind. The last time I saw him was the day we sealed away Calamity Ganon; he rode with me to Zora’s Domain, where I stayed for a year until the castle was rebuilt.

The entire ride, he said nothing of real importance. I tried to get him to open up, to show me the person I had finally gotten to know before the Calamity. He had become a warm, comforting presence in my life towards the end, but now he was back to his cold, impassive demeanor, and that mask was on so tight I wasn’t sure I could get it off him this time. I commented that the horse he had brought me looked exactly like my old one, Royal. He just shrugged. I asked him where he found the livery for him; he told me he met the grandson of a Royal stable hand who had kept it all those years. I said I was glad for it, because he gave me something from my old life when there was nothing of that old life left. Link said nothing, and his face remained blank. His lack of response, even nonverbal, left me troubled, and we rode the rest of the distance in complete silence.

Once we arrived at Zora’s domain, he came with me up to King Dorephan’s throne room, but while we were discussing my living arrangements, Link and Sidon slipped quietly away. After making every excuse I could think of in order to follow the two men, I descended the stairs from the throne room as quickly as I could, and stopped on the balcony at the bottom. Link and Sidon were standing in front of the statue of Mipha, and it looked as if they were saying goodbye. Sidon put a hand on Link’s shoulder, and he had a sad look on his face. Link patted his friend’s hand, and turned towards where his horse was waiting for him on the Great Zora Bridge. I could see he was avoiding looking in my direction.

“Link!” I shouted. “Wait!” Many of the Zora’s turned their heads when they heard me, but I ignored them as I ran down the stairs in a very unladylike fashion, carefully holding my ragged skirt so as not to trip on it. I still wore the ceremonial dress I had entered the Calamity with 100 years ago.

He stopped, but he did not turn around when I approached him. “Where are you going?” I asked, hurt coloring my voice.

“Your Highness, I believe you will be safe here, and I do not think you will have need of my protection any longer. Prince Sidon has agreed to provide any protective detail you may need,” he replied in his quiet voice while he rummaged through the horse's saddlebags. He was fidgeting with them to keep his eyes focused away from me, I was sure of it.

“But where are you going?" I repeated. "I may not need your protection, but I will need your help to rebuild Hyrule. I cannot do this by m—”

“Princess, you will not be by yourself," he interrupted me, which was unusual. I couldn't think of a single previous time he'd done that. "You have many people who care for you and have much more experience in ruling a kingdom. I believe that they will be much more useful to you than I ever would,” he finally turned around, but he still did not look me in the eyes. He bowed and murmured, “Goodbye, Princess. It was an honor and a privilege to serve you,” then spun on his heel and left, quickly.

I was speechless. I could not even call after him, and my disbelief rooted me to the bridge. Why would he just leave? I needed him! He was the only person who knew what I had been through, what _we_ had been through! He was the only person I had left of my old life, the only person that meant anything to me! My family was dead and so were my friends – all gone but him. What was I supposed to do without him? 

I had spent a whole year and a half with him before the Calamity. I came to know his nonverbal way of communicating, his favorite foods, his favorite traveling paths; I could even tell his quiet footsteps apart from everyone else’s. I didn’t go anywhere without him until he fell at Hateno, and even during those 100 years apart, I had memories and the knowledge I would see him again to get me by. He had come to mean everything to me, but now I had nothing.

After watching his profile fade into the mountains for several moments, I felt the cool hands of Sidon touch me gently on the arms. “Princess,” he said softly, “We should get you a new dress. I think there are still some of your old clothes in the Hylian royal suite.”

It took everything I had to tear myself away from that bridge. I wanted to think he would come back, that he wasn’t leaving me all alone. But he wouldn't, and he did. And five years later, I haven’t seen his face since. I’ve heard rumors that he’s in Hateno Village, tending a flock of sheep on the land that came with the house he bought there. But he’s never even sent me a letter explaining why he left so suddenly. He just vanished, discarding me like a piece of equipment he had used for a while but was no longer useful, like I meant nothing to him. He left me alone to pick up not only my own pieces, but the pieces of an entire kingdom.

I touched my face and realized I’d been crying. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and got up stiffly from my desk. The sun was setting - I’d been sitting there for almost three hours. It surprised me that no one had interrupted my reminiscing; usually I had visitors from the time I woke up from the time I went to sleep. I took it as a gift from Hylia in my time of need. As I prepared for an early bedtime, I decided that crying myself to sleep that night was probably the only therapy I would get for a while. Before drifting off to sleep, I sent silent prayers to the Goddess, thanking her for the small but priceless gift of solitude.


	2. Undisclosed Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have hesistated on posting this chapter and reworked it several times, because I wasn't really happy with it. I wanted to introduce at least one of the main political problems Zelda is going to encounter in this fic while also finding a way that forces Zelda and Link back together, but It was really hard to try and convey all of the different moods, opinions, and concerns that Zelda is going to be coming across without having it too complicated. That being said, if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know.

From the moment my eyes opened the next morning, my mind was filled with dread. I knew exactly what was planned for that day without my looking at my calendar: Cabinet meeting. Cabinet meetings were held every month, and involved assessing the changes that had been implemented and determining if any other laws, regulations, improvements or other changes needed to be made. Attendants included myself, the Minister for the Interior (who handled infrastructure and finance), the Minister of Defense (who was responsible for drafting and training our currently lackluster army), the Minister of Communications (who handled everything from foreign affairs to Royal image affairs), and the Dukes of Akkala, Hebra, Necluda, Faron, and Lanayru. 

The Dukes of Faron, Lanayru, and Akkala were from family bloodlines original to those regions, but the Dukes of Hebra and Necluda were brand new to royalty and titles. The previous duchy families of Hebra and Necluda had perished in the Calamity’s awakening, which left me to assign new Dukes. It had taken a lot of work to get them up to speed with the duties and requirements for running a duchy, but in the end, it worked. The new dukes were from their respective areas, and as such, they had a knowledge and relationship with the people that Hyrule royalty needed severely. They had been my closest allies, along with my Ministers, for rebuilding Hyrule. The “blood dukes,” as I had come to call them, were skeptical of my ability to rule without having had much instruction for it. They were also extremely entitled, having some of the highest-taxed districts in the land, and were very disappointed when I did not give them the minister positions they had coveted in addition to their duchies.

Bolson, my new and trusted Minister for the Interior, was the first to arrive in the conference room. He came well-recommended by all that I had asked, but what really impressed me was that he and his company had built a new town in Akkala literally from the ground up. I also (unfortunately) learned that Bolson was friends with Link – of course he was – and had refurbished his house in Hateno for him.

There was literally nowhere that man could go that I wouldn’t hear about him. I wasn’t sure who was more disappointed, him or me.

I sat at the head of a long table, and Bolson took the chair at my left after giving me a respectful bow. “Bolson,” I greeted him. “How are Hudson and Rhondson?”

He smiled. “They are happy as loose cuccos. Rhondson is expecting their third child.”

I gasped. “Third?! How wonderful! Although, I do hope that Hudson is not expecting a boy. Did Rhondson tell him about the Gerudo gene dominance?”

“I’m not sure he knows,” Bolson chuckled, “but if they keep going like they do, he’ll figure it out eventually.”

I blushed - Bolson was never crude around me, but neither did he employ full censorship - and said, “I hope he figures it out before they have too many children.”

He shrugged. “Gotta populate Tarrey Town somehow, eh?”

Any response I would have made to him – had I thought of one – was interrupted by the entrance of the rest of Cabinet. The (relatively) newly-appointed members were all chatting gaily and laughing as they took their seats, while the three blood Dukes were more reserved, merely murmuring amongst one another.

I opened the meeting with a greeting and a prayer to Hylia for guidance per usual, and then we got down to business. The Minister of Defense began with his report since it was a short one: the new military was doing fine, and the Cavalry unit was beginning to train their horses now that they had built up a solid inventory. His only comment was that he could use more soldiers in all areas of the units, as recruiting was dwindling more and more each day.

Bolson’s reports on infrastructure were encouraging, but he was becoming increasingly concerned about the Hylian population. “The results of the last census were, quite frankly, alarming, your Highness,” he spoke with a very serious tone today, which was unusual for him. I sat up straighter in my chair, perturbed by his tone and words. “They showed that not only do our adult and elderly Hylians outnumber children five to one, but that new births have not increased at all in the last five years. In order for the growth of the country and the stability of the race, we need to encourage our people to procreate.”

I sighed, and wrung my hangs together. “How do we do this? We have rebuilt schools, encouraged business and commerce, improved agriculture, reinstated the duchies…” I was honestly not sure what more we could do.

Bolson started to speak, but Herstel, the Minister of Communications, began first. “Your Highness, I believe that the Hylian people are-“ he paused, as if searching for the right word “-appreciative of these improvements, but they are still afraid that the peace will not last. Five years is not long compared with the hundred that was spent under threat from the Calamity.” Herstel was a soft-spoken man, and tended to say things in a gentler way than Bolson did – which was probably why he had interrupted him. Bolson nodded, agreeing with Herstel’s statement.

I was about to ask what Herstel had in mind, but he answered my unspoken question. “The five-year anniversary of your sealing the Calamity away is naught but a fortnight away. I think that would be enough time for us to plan a celebration of sorts – an anniversary ball, if you will.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head. I could not believe that this was what he was suggesting would calm the people’s fears. ”A _party_? You think a _party_ will make people have children?”

This time it was Bolson’s turn to interrupt. “Don’t think of it as a party, but rather as a way to get as many Hylians together as possible and show them that things are back to normal. The Royal Family used to have many balls and celebrations before the Calamity, did they not?” Though it was a rhetorical question, I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. “And while a party might only soothe some souls, you could also use it as a time to tell the people that the Calamity does not appear every ten years, but rather every ten _thousand_ years.”

I closed my mouth. Bolson did have a point there – most Hylians really didn’t know much about the Calamity, just what the few legends available to them had told them, which was not much. Sharing with them just a little of the knowledge I had about the Calamity could not only calm their fears and encourage growth, but also could help them see that the Royal Family – and its holy bloodline – was inherently necessary for the continued prosperity of Hyrule.

I was about to agree, and ask Herstel to put plans into place, but Bolson wasn’t done. “I also think,” he said carefully, “that the Hylian Champion should be present.”

No one spoke. No one breathed. It was dead silence in that room.

I looked around at my Cabinet members, but none of them were looking at me. Most of them were fidgety, anxious, as if fearing they had upset me. Which, to be honest, they had. I don’t think they quite knew the extent of the depression that Link’s absence had put me into, but castle rumors always flew.

Bolson was the only one who looked relatively relaxed. Of course, he was friends with the person in question, so why would it bother him? “Link was your partner in defeating the calamity, Princess. He should also be your partner whilst celebrating its demise and calming the country.”

“I- But- We haven’t- Link-“ I stuttered. I had no words. I had no idea what to say.

Herstel put his hand on mine, and murmured gently, “I can ask him, if you-“

For the first time since the meeting began, one of the blood Dukes spoke. “I don’t think that’s necessary, Minister. I think that the Princess is more than capable of inviting the Hero to a ball, don’t you?” He was smirking at me. He was enjoying my discomfort.

Bolson, however, agreed. “I think so too.”

I just nodded. I still couldn’t speak. Herstel was looking at me, pained. “Very well.” And after a brief silence, he concluded, “I’d say this meeting is adjourned.”

I remained in my seat as the others left with my eyes closed. I could not believe this meeting. I had dreaded it, as I dreaded them all, but I had no idea that this is what had been in store.

I opened my eyes after a few minutes, and realized that Falesh, the Duke of Akkala, was still there, watching me. He had been the one to speak up. “Forgive me, Princess, for taking up more of your time, but I had to speak to you on behalf of the other Dukes.”

I took a deep breath, and attempted to assume a relaxed and open demeanor. I’m not sure if it worked. I gestured to the seat next to me, and he took it.

“The Dukes and I had discussed this before we knew the substance of the meeting today, and planned to leave it for a later date, but after what we heard about the census, we think it should be brought to your attention now,” he said.

“Speak plainly, Falesh. What is it that concerns you and the other Dukes?”

“Your lack of a King and heirs.”

I almost groaned aloud. I had three impossible topics set before me on the same day?! Why couldn’t they have spread them out?

Falesh saw the agonized look on my face, but still went on. “We believe that if the people saw that you were confident enough to marry and bear heirs yourself, it would have quite the impact on the population. You may need to ‘lead by example,’ as the saying goes.”

“And pray tell,” I retorted, “when am I supposed to have time to court suitors and marry and bear a child when our kingdom is in such a fragile state?” Even if I had the time, I didn’t want to even think about courting someone. Especially when… there was only one person I wanted to consider.

Falesh gave me an odd look that I couldn’t quite understand. “The ball would be an excellent time to get to know your options, your Highness. I expect many of the Nobles – new and old – will be there.”

I sighed. Either they were all in on this ball thing, or it was a very good coincidence it happened to help with all three concerns brought up today. “Very well, Falesh. Please tell the other Dukes I will consider the proposition.” I dismissed him and began to pick up my calendar and notebook.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him bow, and leave the room. Alone at last.

But not for long, it would seem.


	3. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riju comes to visit and gives Zelda some girl talk. Link and Zelda meet for the first time in 5 years and it doesn't go well. Chapter name is from the song by Adele.

The next day I had an unexpected but nonetheless welcomed visitor: Chief Riju of the Gerudo. After the Cabinet meeting yesterday, it’s safe to say that I nearly cried from happiness seeing her in my castle. Since we both ascended the throne unexpectedly young, we became close friends almost immediately upon meeting. She knew and understood all my problems, both as royalty and as a woman out of time, and I couldn’t ask for a better confidant – excepting her predecessor, Urbosa, of course.

Riju showed up slightly before dinner was set to be served, and although I was supposed to have regimental guests at my table, I canceled the meeting in order to have time alone with my friend. I hadn’t seen her in almost as long as I had seen Link, but she wrote at least once a week to check up on me.

The whole dinner was full of teary-eyed, gut-wrenching laughter, something I hadn’t experienced for months, if not years. “Oh, Makeela,” I said, using her first name, “I’ve missed you so much. It is so lonely in the castle without friends.”

“Dear Zelda, I have missed you as well. I have Buliara, but she is more of a parent than a friend most times. I have so many things I want to tell you. Had I voiced them to Buliara, she would just counsel me or berate me upon hearing them. I have needed your kind words and friendly touch these years.”

I smiled and nodded. I could definitely believe that. Buliara was _very_ protective of Riju, moreso than a personal bodyguard was be expected to be. As a result, though her mother was gone, Riju was not lacking in parental guidance or advice. She was, though, lacking in friends – like me. “Come, let us go to my rooms where we will be more comfortable.”

She understood immediately: I wanted to talk to her without it being spread around the castle by the servants. We made the trek up to my private quarters, admiring the lovely sunset on the way.

While Riju made herself comfortable on a chaise in my study, I built a fire. Though it was summer, the altitude of the castle made it so the night air brought a chill. While I worked, I asked, “Why did you come, Riju? Don’t mistake me, I am perfectly happy that you have, but you didn’t even mention in your letters that you planned to visit.”

She sighed. “Buliara is getting impatient with me. She says I need to start planning my year of exploration. But I am not ready to find a mate… I don’t even know what kind of _vai_ I am, let alone what kind of _voe_ I want to marry.” She paused for a moment, then continued in a sly voice, “So, to answer your question, I came here on the pretense of asking your opinion on the route I should take through Hyrule, to appease Buliara. In reality, though, I came to get a break from her and to see my dearest friend.”

Satisfied with the fire, I stood up and grinned at her; my heart and my hands were now pleasantly warmed. I took a seat at my desk, and said, “I think Buliara is worrying a little early. You still have a few years until you are 21.” For the Gerudo, the age of adulthood is 21; for Hylians, it is 17. I was never really sure why, but I always chalked it up to the Gerudo going into puberty much later than Hylians.

She nodded. “I agree! But what Buliara wants, Buliara gets. And so here I am.”

There was a pause. “Riju, there is something I would like _your_ advice on,” I said after a few moments of silence.

She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “Is this about Link?”

I stared. “You can’t know me _that_ well, can you?”

She laughed. “Zelda, I know two things about you for certain: first, you are the strongest _vai_ I know; second, you only have one weakness, and he is the strongest _voe_ I know.”

“I guess you _do_ know me that well,” I replied glumly.

This time, she didn’t laugh. She hesitated, and then asked, “I know that you two didn't leave things on exactly… _good_ terms, but did you ever talk to him about… That is to say, did he know how you felt before you parted?”

I blinked. “Which time?”

She shrugged. “Both, I guess?”

“I think he knew, before the Calamity, but afterwards, I’m not sure. If he recovered all his memories, or at least the ones I left for him to find, he should have known. But he acted as if he didn’t. Or if he did, maybe he doesn’t feel the same, and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, so he left quickly.”

Riju was shaking her head halfway through my answer. “Zelda, that’s not what I meant. I mean, did you tell him? Did you specifically say, ‘I love you’?”

“I-“ I stopped, thought about it, and realized that I had not. “No, I didn’t,” I confessed. “I wanted to. When I left the sword at the Deku Tree before confronting Calamity Ganon, I wanted to leave that message for him there. But the Deku Tree said I should give him the message myself, and the right time just never came.”

“I know your mother was unable to give you much instruction on anything before she passed on, but let me give you some advice that my mother gave me. She told me that _voe_ are incredibly stupid, and don’t understand the art of subtlety that us _vai_ have mastered.” She shook her head, laughing softly at a memory before continuing. “Apparently, when she met my father, she had to literally tell him that she loved him and wanted to get married. Otherwise, she said that I probably would never have been born.”

“But Link is not stupid,” I protested. “He was able to follow the other clues I left him, so I’m sure he would have been able to understand.” Should have been, I silently corrected myself.

“Link is incredibly smart,” she agreed, “but he is still a _voe_.” She looked at me curiously. “Why have you waited five years to talk of Link with me? Has he contacted you?”

“No,” I looked away, a blush just barely touching the tips of my ears. “Cabinet has come to the conclusion that the Hylian people would benefit from a celebratory ball on the anniversary of Calamity Ganon’s defeat, and Link is to be my guest of honor.”

Her lips formed an ‘O’. She started to speak, as if going to reassure me, but I cut her off. “There’s more,” I said. “The Dukes also want me to use the ball as a matchmaking opportunity, so I can find a King and produce heirs.” Because obviously, now that Ganon has been dispensed of, that is all that female royalty are good for.

She stared. “Um. Zelda, I know that I don’t have much experience with _voe_ , but I think springing this all on him at once, especially that last thing, will not really make for a romantic reunion.”

I sighed, hanging my head. “I know. It wasn’t my choice! If I could have left him out of the whole thing, I would have.”

She raised an eyebrow at me, “The _whole_ thing?” I didn’t like how she emphasized that second word.

“Well… not the last part, I suppose,” I muttered, the blush now overtaking my entire face. I’m fairly sure I looked as red as Death Mountain.

Riju took me into an embrace. For her to do so meant she clearly understood the depths of my unhappiness, as we rarely embraced, even though we were such good friends. “It will be alright in the end,” she promised. “If he is half as smart as we think he is, it will be alright, you’ll see.”

“And if it’s not?”

She was quiet for a few moments, but then said firmly, “It will be.”

 

 

Riju and I departed Hyrule Castle at the same time, and our teary goodbyes were mixed with heartfelt promises of more frequent visits. “Should I expect to see you at the anniversary ball?” I asked, hopeful.

“You should! I plan to have my best tailors set to work as soon as I return to Gerudo Town. There will not be one _voe_ in the room that won’t have eyes for me. Well, all except one, that is.” She grinned at me.

I blushed. “You are so positive of a happy outcome. I wish I had the same outlook.”

She squeezed my hand before mounting her horse, then said, “Just be honest, Princess. That is all you can do.” She waved, and then spurred her mount west.

I sighed, mounted my own horse, and began my long trek towards Mount Lanayru. I couldn’t help but realize that I hadn’t taken this route since my fated visit to the Spring of Wisdom. This time, though, I was followed by two poorly-trained guardsmen instead of one appointed knight.

We rode at a brisk pace, and made it all the way to the Dueling Peaks by sunset. Although Impa would no doubt know of my presence in the village, I did not want to make a special visit to see her; it would only make my task ahead more difficult, as she knew both Link and me almost better than we knew ourselves. In order to avoid such a meeting, we stayed at the inn near the stable at the foot of the Peaks.

I woke my guardsmen before sunrise, and we left the inn before anyone else was awake for the day. I was in a hurry to get this impossible conversation over with. This ride and the last, I went through what I would say to him, trying out different scenarios. None of them ended well, and my mind would eventually wander to thoughts of what I would find when I finally saw him. Would he be happy to see me? Angry? Disappointed? Carefully neutral? Would he have a wife? Children? Had he kept his hair long, or did he cut it short now? Did he still have the Master Sword? Did he even keep weapons anymore?

When we reached the gates of Fort Hateno, my horse slowed of its own accord. The defunct Guardians had all been cleaned up and recycled, thanks to Robbie. Since they were no longer hostile, he felt he could refasten the old parts into new, updated versions – Guardian 2.0s, he called them. Though the Fort had been rebuilt, the road had been repaved, and the remains of that fight were cleaned up, I could still find the exact spot where Link had fallen, and where I had _finally_ awakened my power.

I remembered the way it felt, to see Link fall. It was like my heart had turned to stone and dropped from my chest into my stomach. It was like everything I had ever known was suddenly gone. I knew when I sent him into the Shrine of Resurrection that he wouldn’t come out the same. But I hoped and prayed – Goddess, how I had prayed – that he would come back to me, that the sacrifice would be worth it, in the end.

In some ways, the sacrifice had been worth it: Hyrule had been saved and was being rebuilt, the Champions and my father had been avenged, Link and I were alive. We were alive, but were we living?

“Princess." It was Edwin, the younger of the guards, who got my attention. We stood at the southern edge of Hateno Village. My throat was thick, and my limbs felt very heavy. I awkwardly dismounted my horse, and turned to the guardsmen, who had done the same.

“Take the horses to the livery and feel free to explore the village. If all goes according to plan, I will not be long. Please, leave me to my errands. I will find you when I am ready to leave.” I needed to be alone for this, not only to keep my sanity, but also to make sure I wasn’t recognized. Walking into Hateno Village with a personal guard was a certain way to get noticed in the small town, and I really didn't want to have to be privy to those formalities while reuniting with Link.

They bowed, and Kalib, the older and taller one, took the reins of my horse, leading it towards the livery. I stood at the edge of the village for a long time, trying to muster some courage.

What was wrong with me? I had walked into the Calamity head-first without a second thought, and I couldn’t even talk to someone who had once been my best friend? When did I become such a coward?

After finally walking towards town, I followed the directions Bolson had given me – walk the path through the model home site, cross the small bridge, and there it is. I stopped in the middle of the bridge after catching a glimpse of the man I came to see.

He was shirtless, swinging a heavy axe and chopping firewood. I could see he had not yet heard my approach, as his brow was furrowed with concentration on his task and his thoughts. His breathing was heavy with labor, and his hair stuck to his forehead where it shone with sweat. Though he looked much the same as the last time I had seen him, those five years apart had also changed him. For one, he was taller, and while I had thought him muscular before, he was more so now. His blonde hair had golden streaks through it from it sun, and his skin was tanned. When he swung the axe, I could see the scars on his chest shine in the sunlight.

 _Hylia, if you are still there, please, please, please, get me through this_ , I pleaded. I needed her strength more than ever, which was almost shameful to admit.

I took small steps forward, until I was no more than ten feet away from where he stood, and forced myself to speak. “Hello, Link.”

If he hadn’t just swung the axe into the log he was splitting, I’m fairly certain he would have dropped it. He was startled by my voice, which surprised me. I had never once been able to sneak up on him. He must have been deeply lost in thought for me to do so.

He turned his eyes on mine, and it took all my energy to force my knees not to buckle. Oh, those eyes. “Princess,” he breathed, letting go of the axe and wiping his hands on his pants. “What are you doing here?”

 _Here we go_. “I, uh, came to talk with you, Link. I have some things I have to discuss with you.”

“Things?” he repeated.

I nodded. “Things.”

He shrugged on his shirt, which had been lying on the ground next to where he was working, and gestured to the door of his house. “Let’s talk inside, then.”

I followed him through the door, and was surprised by the homey atmosphere that filled the inside. There was a table in the middle of the room, set for one, and framed pictures of various Hylian landscapes sat on surfaces throughout the living area. A bittersweet sadness filled my heart when I saw the various weapons he had hanging on the wall: Mipha’s trident, Urbosa’s scimitar and shield, Revali’s bow, Daruk’s boulder smasher. There was also a single silent princess bloom in a vase sitting on the table. I tried not to stare at the flower and contemplate what its presence in his home meant – especially surrounded by so much memorabilia.

He saw me staring, and shrugged. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

We took seats across from one another at the table. He sat in a sort of slouched position, as if trying to look relaxed, but I knew him better. He was on edge; I could tell it from the way the corners of his eyes were tight, the way his arms were crossed against his chest, the way his foot was bouncing up and down on the floor. “So, Princess,” he began. “What can I do for you?”

He was looking at me. Really looking at me. It was so unlike what had happened at Zora’s Domain. It was as if he was a different person. I swallowed thickly, and after reviewing the options I had considered on the way there, I decided on a direct approach. “Cabinet has decided to throw a celebratory ball in commemoration of our defeat of Calamity Ganon, and it would only make sense for the Hero of Hyrule to be there.”

He looked dumbfounded. “You traveled all this way to ask me to a ball?”

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but-“

He shook his head, an impatient look on his face. “No, Princess. What’s _ridiculous_ is the fact that you show up here out of nowhere, acting like nothing life-altering happened to either of us, and invite me to a ball. What’s _ridiculous_ is you haven’t even asked how I’ve been, or where I’ve been, or what I’ve been doing. What’s _ridiculous_ is you don’t even seem to care.”

“I don’t seem to care? Me?” I was furious. “You abandoned me in Zora’s Domain five years ago with not even as much as a glance back. You never wrote to me, explaining why you just decided to up and leave me to fend for myself.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't even let him start. “I expected this would be a difficult conversation, but I never expected you to blame me for cutting off, for lack of a better term, our relationship.”

He stood, then, anger flushing his face, and I stood in response. “Did you even consider that you’re the reason I needed that space? I couldn’t stand to be around you, and I still don’t think I can!”

I flinched backwards, as hard as if he’d slapped me. He seemed to realize what he’d said after it passed his lips. “Princess, I am so sorry. Please-“

“No need to apologize. It’s clear my presence is not wanted or needed.” I stormed out of his house, feeling extremely childish, but I wanted to get out of there before the inevitable waterworks began.

I heard him call after me several times, but it only made the tears come quicker, and I ran as fast as I could towards the livery.


	4. Whiplash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with this chapter, friends. :-)
> 
> As I continue to get deeper into this story, I wonder if I chose the right title for this work. I have a feeling it will end up changing as we dive deeper into this story. I am afraid that Zelda and Link will have some particularly vexing issues (besides their feels) to deal with.

Kalib and Edwin gave me as much privacy as they could and let me set a fairly slow pace while my thoughts and emotions smoldered. I couldn’t believe how this man could evoke such heated responses from me. I hadn’t cried a single tear for my mother, though I was but a girl when she died. I endured the torment of my imprisonment within the Calamity for a century without complaint. Anytime Link was brought up, however, I couldn’t help but have a deep emotional response one way or another. Hylian royalty were supposed to be stoic, impassive, unflinching in the face of despondence and depravity. Here I was like some schoolgirl, crying over a boy I was continuing to let break my heart.

I couldn’t help but hope that some part of the friend I had so long ago was still inside him. That hope was what had given me the strength to even chance a conversation like the one we just had. I remembered one day in particular that made me smile softly despite the unhappiness that lingered in my chest. We were on our way back from a particularly vexing trip to the Spring of Courage. I wasn’t sure if he had sensed my frustration, or if he had heard my almost-heretical outburst after hours of unproductive prayer, but when we stopped in a small village to refill our supplies, he presented me with a freshly baked loaf of fruitcake. How he knew it was my favorite was beyond me, but he also gave me the gift of one of his rare smiles when I thanked him, which I appreciated more than the cake. Though it was a small gesture, I never forgot it or that smile.

The whistle of arrows drew me sharply from my daydream. My guardsmen drew their swords and tried to move in closer to me, but one arrow clipped my horse’s ear, and chaos broke. The wild-bred horse whinnied, bucked, and ran straight into Ginner Woods. I could hear Kalib and Edwin calling for me in the distance as I ducked low-hanging branches and tried to control the terrified horse. I heard another whistle half a second before I felt the pain of the arrow’s contact. I cried out, and was horrified at the sight of an arrowhead sticking out of my left shoulder, which left me momentarily distracted from the trees I had been avoiding. I felt a _thwack_ against my forehead from a particularly thick branch, fell backwards off the horse, and darkness enveloped me as the back of my skull collided with the ground.

 

 

When I regained consciousness, I found that I was being carried. My knee-jerk response was fear, and I kicked my legs as hard as I could. I tried moving my arms around too, but gave up when I was painfully reminded of the arrow in my shoulder. It was an fruitless endeavor regardless of my injuries, as my captor’s arms were strong and I was still feeling weak from the fall and blood loss.

“Princess, stop,” an annoyed but familiar voice said. I could feel the voice rumble against me through my captor's chest. “You’re going to hurt yourself even more.” Beneath the annoyance I could detect the barest hint of anxiety.

I looked up at the voice’s face and found it to be Link’s. I blushed deeply as I realized I was not being held captive, but rather being cradled gently in his arms. My right shoulder was towards him to avoid my left being jostled too much. My weight did not seem to both him; his breath was slow and even as we walked the path back to Hateno Village.

I let my head fall back against his shoulder. I had the beginning of what was sure to become the mother of all headaches and my arrow wound was starting to hurt again, too, so I didn’t have much strength to fight. Not that I really wanted to, once I found out who was carrying me.

 _Stupid, lovesick girl_ , I chastised myself. I had just gotten attacked and all I could think about was the fact that Link had his arms around me. I asked in a small voice, “What happened?”

Those arms tightened around me. I immediately crushed the bloom that threatened to unfold in my abdomen. “I’m not sure. I decided to follow you and apologize for being such a horse’s behind. I found your guards,” he hesitated slightly, then continued, “and then I found you, all the way at the north end of Ginner Woods.”

 _Oh no, my guards_. “What happened to them?”

He didn’t say anything. His jaw clenched the way it did when he was keeping something unsaid. I knew him well enough to understand what that meant.

I sighed, and closed my eyes. Since ascending the throne, I hadn’t been attacked once. Then again, I hadn’t left the castle much, either. It was just my luck that my first trip out of the castle in years would result in my guards killed and me wounded.

“It’s not your fault,” he said, as if reading my mind. Sometimes, I swear he could. Others, I wish he could.

“I still feel responsible. Had I only brought more guards, or even made my horse go a little faster, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” _Or maybe if I hadn’t been so distracted_ , I added mentally.

He sighed, shook his head, and changed the subject. “How’s your shoulder? We’re almost to Puran's lab. She’ll fix you up.”

“Hanging in there. I think the dressing you put on it has stopped the bleeding, but it hurts. A lot.”

“Hyrule herb poultices can only do so much,” he said apologetically. “By the way, did you walk here? I didn’t find a horse anywhere near you or your guards.”

 _Crap. I completely forgot about the horse, too. Was there anything else I forgot? My brain, perhaps?_ “No, the horse got spooked by the arrows. You forgot to mention that Royal’s great-grandson is a lot more wild than his progenitor.”

“Do you know how long it took me to tame that bloody horse?”

“I’m sorry I lost the horse that nearly got me killed.”

He was teasing before, but the smirk that had been on his face was wiped away by that comment. “Thank you for saving me, by the way,” I said softly.

He looked at me like he wanted to say something. His eyes were smoldering with an emotion somewhere between anger and regret. I wanted to make him tell me what it was, but I was also afraid of what he might say. We had arrived at the lab, however, and any possibility of following that train of thought was cut short. Link easily shifted me in his arms to open the door to the lab, and the look on Purah’s face as we walked in was pure shock.

“Princess?! What are you doing here?” She then seemed to recognize that Link was carrying me because I was wounded. “What happened?” she demanded.

“She was attacked near Ginner Woods. She took an arrow to the shoulder and hit her head pretty hard.” His arms tightened protectively around me again. I tried not to read into it.

She clucked, and gestured for Link to follow her up to her bedroom. He climbed the stairs with me just as easily as he had made the trip to the lab. Once in the bedroom, he set me gently on the bed, and left to give me some privacy while Purah worked me over.

She had to cut my shirt off to prevent the arrow from ripping the wound open even more. Once she had that off, she unwrapped Link’s makeshift wound dressings and cut the head and fletching off the arrow. With a warning of “This will hurt,” she pulled out the remaining arrow shaft. It did hurt, like _hell_ , and I screamed so loud that if anyone had been near the lab, they would have thought I was getting brutally murdered. After dressing and sanitizing the arrow wound and helping me shrug on a new shirt, she decided I was hit hard enough to get knocked out, but not hard enough to give me a concussion. After a little begging on my part, Purah gave me some Sheikah pain medication, and I quickly fell asleep from the pleasant numbing sensation that filled my body.

 

 

I was awakened from my nap a few hours later by Purah and Link’s hushed voices outside the bedroom door.

“-arrow was not Bokoblin or Moblin-made. This wasn’t a monster ambush, especially so close to Hateno. Whoever was trying to kill her knew her plans and was watching her.”

“Who knew she was here?” A pause. “Why _was_ she here, Link?”

“Visiting me. Apparently she wishes me to return to the Castle. As if my presence there would help anyone,” he said bitterly.

“She cares for you.”

_What was Purah doing, reading my diary?!_

He said something so quiet I couldn’t hear, and Purah sighed. “Link, you need to tell her. You have to start being honest with each other. You are partners.”

“ _Were_ partners,” he corrected her.

“She clearly needs you, and by the sound of things, you need her, too.”

He spoke again in that voice that was too quiet for my ears. I sat up in bed, trying to make out his words, but the bed creaked loudly, and the conversation ended abruptly. Cursing myself, I fell back against the mattress with a huff. Link knocked on the door, even though he knew I was awake. I wonder if he knew how long I’d been listening.

“I’m awake. You can come in.” I tried not to let disappointment into my voice.

He entered cautiously, as if uncertain he should be in the room. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

“Well, I don’t hurt anymore, but my shoulder is pretty stiff,” I said, sitting up in the bed. “Where’s Purah?”

“She went back down to the lab. She says that I’m a good nurse and has no qualms leaving you in my care.”

I laughed. _Nurse Link._ “Well then, Nurse, what does the good doctor have to say?”

He glowered. “She says if you keep your arm in the sling she’s made you for the next few weeks, you shouldn’t have any permanent damage to the muscle and nerves. She also said no horseback riding.”

“Damn, and I was in such a hurry to return to the Castle,” I said sarcastically.

He raised his eyebrow at my use of the mild expletive. “We can leave tomorrow morning, if you like.”

“ _We_?” I was stunned. Did this mean…?

“It seems you are in need of protection, Princess. If you’ll allow me to, I’d like to reclaim my post as your appointed knight. For now, at least.”

“I thought you didn’t want to come back to the Castle with me? I thought you needed… space?” I asked cautiously.

He shrugged. “I’ve had enough space for a while, and I don’t really like the idea of letting my Sovereign return to the Castle unguarded.”

“I could easily write to the Castle and have them send more guards.”

He seemed to consider it for a second, but just said in reply, “I’ll pack for us to leave in the morning. Please let me know if you need anything before then.” He bowed, and was gone.

I was at a loss for what just transpired. He was speaking to me like old times-like nothing had changed between us- _and_ he wanted to return to the Castle – just like that? After he told me he wanted nothing to do with me just hours ago? I shook my head, trying to understand what was going through his. Did he have multiple personalities? Or did he just have a change of heart? And what was it that Purah said he needed to tell me? This man had become a mystery to me.

Good thing I’m an excellent researcher.


	5. Pray for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOOOOOOOO! I am back from the dead, so to speak. If you've read my comments on the previous work(s), you know that I've been working through some shit, just like our good buddy Link. After a decade of being misdiagnosed and having the wrong treatments, I finally got an answer, and things are looking better every day. ♥ I was able to finish Chapter 5, and I also started a one-shot from Link's perspective during the 5 years Link and Zelda were apart, so you readers and I the writer have things to look forward to.
> 
> Thank you for all your patience. I hope you enjoy. :)

The sunrise gently bathed us in light as Hateno Village fell behind the horizon for the second time in only a few days. It was summer, so though a slight breeze ruffled my hair, it was pleasantly warm. Dew sparkled on the grass and birds were singing their good-morning songs. Besides the ambient forest sounds and our footsteps, however, our trip continued in an uncomfortable silence.

In our travels a hundred years ago, Link had always been three paces behind me. Now, though, he fell into step next to me – close enough for me to reach out and grab his hand if I wanted to, far enough away that we would not accidentally touch. The tension between us was nearly palpable. My thoughts circled through overwhelmed memories of the attack, possible ways of opening a dialog, and embarrassed self-censure.

The Cliffs of Quince were increasing in size as I finally gained the confidence to ask Link a question I had been considering since we left. “Link?”

I looked sideways at him, and he raised an eyebrow at me: _Yes, Princess?_

“What were Purah and you talking about yesterday?”

“That depends. How much did you hear?”

“I heard you discussing who might want to hurt me.” I paused, gathering the courage to mention the thing I was _more_ curious about. “And, um, that you need to- or might want to- tell me something.”

He was quiet for so long I wasn’t sure if he was going to reply. Every once in a while I would peek at him from my peripherals; the expressions on his face ranged from pensive and contrite to pained and grieved. Each emotion looked so intense, like he was going from one end of each spectrum to the other trying to control his thoughts. “It’s… complicated,” he finally said.

Now I was _burning_ with curiosity. “We have plenty of time to work through it. It’s a long trip.”

“I’ll tell you another time.”

“But-“

“ _Princess,_ ” he said firmly. “Please. Ask me something else.” His tone was final, and I had no choice but to let it go – for now.

“Okay, then,” I paused, trying to decide which of the numerous questions I had for him that he was most likely to answer. “Will you teach me to fight?”

He halted, and both eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as he looked at me in confusion.

My hands lifted up in exasperation – did I really need to explain this? It seemed a fairly logical step to me. “You’ve saved me multiple times now, and I know that I won’t be left unguarded for the rest of my life, but I’m tired of feeling helpless. Can you at least teach me to defend myself?”

He frowned, but said, “I suppose I can do that.” Another few moments passed while he considered something and worried his lip. As if making a silent decision, he nodded to himself and unsheathed the knife strapped to his hip. He brandished the hilt to me and said in a serious tone, “Since you aren’t really comfortable with _any_ sort of weapon, I want you to carry this knife while we travel. Get used to the feeling of the hilt in your palm and how the weight of it changes your center of gravity. When you’re used to that, I’ll give you a sword to do the same with.”

As I gingerly grasped the weapon and looked at the sword he was wearing on his hip, I realized that he did not have the Master Sword strapped to his back. “Where is the Master Sword? Did you return it to the Deku Tree?”

“It’s in a safe place. I tried to return it to the Great Hyrule Forest, but the Deku Tree said I should keep it. He said I was still bound to it, whatever that means.”

We started walking again, albeit more slowly now that we had struck up a conversation. I tried to balance the knife in my hand and think of it as an extension of my arm like Link said, but the cool steel felt alien in my clammy hand. “Maybe you will have it until you die. You have the soul of the Hero, and the Sword is bound to that.”

He chewed on his cheek, thinking. “I suppose that’s true,” he mused, “but I have no use for it. The Calamity is banished; the Hero’s work is done. It doesn’t seem right to just keep the sword for mundane purposes.”

“You could be my new chief of the Hyrule Castle Guard – that would be something a little less mundane,” I suggested as nonchalantly as possible. “The previous one drank himself to death.”

Again, a pause. I’d forgotten how many there were in conversations with Link. “I’ll… consider it. Thank you, Princess.” His voice was soft with surprise. An unusual smile crinkled his eyes and barely touched the corners of his lips.

I blushed and looked at the knife in my hand. I’d forgotten it was there while we talked, but after glancing at it, the metal tool came to my attention again. It seemed awkward, inappropriate even, for me to be holding such an item. The uncomfortable silence threatened to creep back as I considered the weapon, and I grasped at topics to beat it back. “Why don’t you call me Zelda anymore?”

“It’s not appropriate for a citizen to call his sovereign by her first name.”

“Yes, but friends call each other by their first names.”

“Are we friends?”

I looked at him, shocked. “I just meant,” he continued, “we haven’t really been acting like it lately.”

I nodded. “I want you back, Link.”

He stared, and half a second later I realized the double meaning of what I’d said. “I mean- I just meant I- because we were such good friends-“ I stuttered, tripping over my words, trying to recover from the embarrassing sentence I’d previously spewed out.

Link just laughed, a twinkle coming into his eye. “I know what you meant, Zelda. And I want you back, too.”

My heart swelled a little bit, happiness causing my cheeks to flush a deeper pink than previous embarrassment had put in them. He’d even said my name. “Friends?” I held out my hand for him to shake, and he took it.

“Friends,” he agreed.

I held on to his hand a little longer than I probably should have, but I was the one to drop our grasp. His tiny smile had returned, and as I looked in his eyes, he gazed right back. When we started walking again, the tension I’d felt before was nearly gone.

A warm, giddy feeling found a resting spot below my sternum and made me chatty. Link was content to let me do the talking, and graciously listened as whatever thoughts passed through my mind also passed through my voice box. I updated him on how things were going with the rebuilding, told him (very briefly) about Riju’s visit, and filled him in on Robbie and Purah’s research efforts. When I ran out of things to say about a certain topic, he prompted me with a new one.

We were nearly to Fort Hateno and I was in the middle of explaining Purah’s recent project (replication of the Sheikah Slate) when a crack of thunder opened the heavenly floodgates. Link grabbed my hand and we ran along a path into a hollow with several small (and creepy) statues. There was a small alcove with a few of the statues in it, and he rolled those out of the way to make a nice shelter for us.

“How did you find this place?” I asked curiously.

He shrugged as he sat down in a dry spot. “There was a shrine here.”

I sighed, carefully set down the knife I’d been carrying, and plopped down next to him. “I’m disappointed they’re gone now. I never did get to explore those things.”

“Some of them were quite dangerous, with small guardians for me to defeat or puzzles that might have killed me if I wasn’t careful. It’s probably a good thing you didn’t.” His mouth twitched, like he was holding back a smile, and he muttered, “Especially knowing how clumsy you are.” I swatted at him playfully, but he ignored it. He sheathed the knife and put it back in his pack. Evidently, we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“This reminds me of another time we were caught in a storm,” I commented as I picked at the grass.

“This time it should be you who practices swordsmanship in the rain,” he teased.

“Then it would be your job to have an existential crisis,” I replied in the same tone.

And then, after a second of silence on Link’s part, it hit me. The one cog that hadn’t been turning was finally greased. Everything that had happened between us in those 5 years apart was suddenly explained in that singular sentence that I had spoken.

“Oh, Goddess,” I whispered. “Link, I’m so sorry.”

He confirmed my realization with his nonverbal cues: the tensing of his shoulders, the grinding of his teeth, the way he looked anywhere but my face, the red that slowly creeped into his ears. I even saw tears welling in his eyes. It made my heart hurt in ways I could never express. I didn’t know what to say, so I just pulled him into my arms as he started to weep.

All these years, I never considered that maybe, just maybe, _Link_ would possibly need a shoulder to cry on. I’d been so focused on myself, on what _I_ had lost, I’d never once thought of _Link’s_ feelings. It explained his outburst in Hateno; it explained why he left; it explained why he never wrote. He was so used to dispatching others’ demons that he never thought to ask for help when he was forced to confront his own. And if _he_ was having trouble with them, they must be true demons indeed.

As Link’s weeping quieted to silent tears, he rested his head in my lap and I stroked his hair, humming softly. The rain had slowed to a quiet pitter-patter, and night was falling. I tried to stifle a yawn as I rested my back against the cold side of the mountain. I wasn’t sure if he’d fallen asleep, but I was content to let him rest in whatever way he needed. The closeness of him and the familiarity of the scene lulled me, though, and I drifted off with my fingers tangled in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named this chapter "Pray for Me" after the song by Kendrick Lamar. The first time I heard that song, I couldn't help but think of Link. Struggling with his purpose and the PTSD that resulted from that purpose. Link is a hero, but human nonetheless. It is not surprising to me that he would have regrets, fears, anger, and sadness just like the rest of us.
> 
> To me, he always had significantly less contact with Hylia than Zelda did (obviously). If that is so, he would naturally feel that someone else needed to pray for him, rather than praying himself. That lesser (or absence of, even) divine connection would no doubt fuel his self-doubt. In previous games, Link is spoken to by light spirits and even Hylia herself, but in this game, he is left in the dark, only knowing his divine purpose from legends, the Royal Family, and a talking tree.


End file.
